Incoming Birthday Girl

With my 30th birthday approaching like a hangover from your early 20s, I began contemplating how I got to where I am today. It sounds dramatic but, please bear with me. I will be turning 28 next month and have made my peace with the fact. In fact, I am ready to embrace the entangled wonders of being a reasonably shitty adult with the confidence of an older man in a public sauna. Don’t mistake my word choice of using shitty as an adjective for self demeanour, for I am more than happily enamoured
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Incoming Birthday Girl

With my 30th birthday approaching like a hangover from your early 20s, I began contemplating how I got to where I am today. It sounds dramatic but, please bear with me. I will be turning 28 next month and have made my peace with the fact. In fact, I am ready to embrace the entangled wonders of being a reasonably shitty adult with the confidence of an older man in a public sauna. Don’t mistake my word choice of using shitty as an adjective for self demeanour, for I am more than happily enamoured

The day that smelled of gardenias

The air felt stale from the lack of change. I glanced outside my window and replayed everything in my head for the millionth time. Sometimes, I feel as if I was just a mere observer of my own life. Nothing seems real enough, perhaps it never was, and I lived my life, so far, from the sparks of my imagination. The pain never goes away. It transforms and transcends both time and place, but it always stays by your side. I learnt that there is no point in running. There is no point in overanalysing

Reasons to text me instead of Facetime me

Ever since we have transcended to working from home full-time, the boundaries have irrevocably shifted, and the lines got blurrier and blurrier. It will come as no shock if I tell you I spend most days in my pyjamas, typing my clever headlines away, having forgotten to remove my makeup if the day before I felt bored enough to put some on. There will be times when I will wear nothing at all if I feel like clothes are prisons for our bodies at that particular moment. I might as well be working f

Anxiety through the magnifying glass

Perhaps the scariest thing about this pandemic is finally getting the stillness and quiet we need to reconnect with our fears and insecurities 24/7. And maybe that is the best part too. Facing the music and learning the dance can transform us into better opponents, far better equipped to face the things we were so used to fear. Who would have thought that last year when we all wished for a better next one we would get this? I can assure you — not me. I am a weird hybrid of both annoying optimi

What it’s like to pay 400 € / month and have prostitutes on the upper floor

It was the beautiful and magical summer of 2017. Trump was yet to be elected, the Brits were still regretting, we all know what - the weather was fine, but I had a hard time falling asleep. That was really unusual because I can literally fall asleep under any circumstances. Weeks have passed and our new neighbours were still cat walking in high heels from 12 to 4–5 am and humping like the world was cuming to an end every bloody night. After long internal disputes and contradictions, we tol

A glimpse into the future

Let’s pretend for a little while that things went back to normal and tomorrow we resume our amazing lives. For the sake of this exercise, let’s say that we have spent almost 2 years within the comfort of our homes. Come to think of it, sounds more plausible actually to happen, soon we will have been home for a year. Happy Anniversa-no? What is the first thing we do? Do we call our loved ones and schedule a major get together? Burn all the masks? Do we go to the movies and have a marathon to mak

How I am training myself to be positive

Last year, after starting to see a therapist, I found out I was slightly depressed and anxious. That didn't come as a surprise because I knew something was going on, but I was way too wrapped up in my own angry bubble to take action. I have spent more than two years being tired 24/7 and although I slept most of the time, the morning after always came as a punishment that couldn’t get me out of bed. This, obviously, disturbed my daily routine. It took me a while to realise I was being an assho

The FOCP Syndrome: curable or not?

When I started this account at the beginning of the year, I thought I would write every single day. It felt good to see that Member circle around my “la vita e bella” profile picture. I did write. Almost every single day, but I never published any of these articles, and only 3 of them have seen the light in the past 3 months. This got me thinking lately: Why am I so afraid to set my thoughts free? I am surely not afraid to speak my mind up around people. Are my thoughts that intimate?

Are we becoming our parents?

We all grow up surrounded by “models” and I will further refer to our family members as such. Some were really anxious and isolated, some were way too outspoken and extroverted, others were caught in arguments all the time and pretty much none of them seemed at least 50% normal. I have put myself under a short analysis and came to the conclusion that I am just as outspoken as my uncle, stubborn to the point it annoys everyone like my biological father, naive and shopaholic like my mother and

Welcome to Fear city. Population: 7,6 bn

Recently, I have finally managed to accept that I am fear-driven. This is how I’m built. I fear that people will be disappointed with me, so I give anything to shift it and I end up doing the exact opposite; I fear I will miss out on things, so I tend to add too much on my plate and rarely enjoy any of it. I fear I am not getting enough sleep, so I oversleep. Etc.. You got it. Fears are seen as such bad consuming things, a symptom that hides a deeper affection in relation to how we perceive ou
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